On the struggle bus

Hey guys.

I’m not sure where I got the urge to write – maybe it was my extra long commute home from work. Anyways… ya girl is in a rut. Riding the struggle bus. Off the horse. However you want to describe it.. that’s me.

It’s been 3 months since I’ve really done anything productive besides doing well in classes. I’ve ran maybe a total of 10 miles, got a new job, & haven’t prepped any healthy foods during that amount of time. The truth? I feel like shit.

Anyone that knows me knows that I am a huge believer in holistic health. When your mind is healthy, your body can be open to being healthy. My body is currently not healthy, therefore my mental status has been something of a mess lately. My confidence is low (although my friends & especially my BF tell me every day I look great), I look in the mirror & curse the places where the 10 extra lbs I’ve gained went to, I’ve been getting more headaches & my sleeping has been less than stellar.

It’s all connected, you guys. Everything! If you put the right nutrients in your body & treat your body like the temple it is – everything else will fall into place health wise. Your mind will be clearer, self confidence goes up, you have more energy for things, & you’re MOTIVATED.

I’ve lost the motivation. I have zero energy to do anything but lay on the couch when I get home. My lower back is starting to hurt again. When I was in shape, I wasn’t in pain doing normal every day tasks like sitting in a desk chair or standing for long periods of time (like when washing the dishes cause you know, I have a lot of dishes). I’ve just noticed that I move a little slower these days.

So, all. How do I get this motivation back? I’m trying to tune into the woman 3 years ago that decided to download the Couch to 5k app & change everything about her eating habits. Where is that woman when I need her the most? AKA: RIGHT NOW!? She’s in there somewhere. I did it once: I lost 50 lbs. I can do it again. And this time I’m just losing the 10 lbs I’ve gained since January. I guess I should count my blessings: it’s only 10 lbs. I’m lucky I didn’t gain more. And I DON’T WANT TO. The treating myself like garbage has to stop here. I saw a glimmer of motivation come back today – I went to the store & got some healthy things. I came home & I made hardboiled eggs & prepped some overnight oats for breakfast tomorrow.

Baby steps, people.

I need to get into working out again – on a regular basis. Not just once a week. I LOVE the way I feel when I’m done. I LOVE seeing progress. I LOVE the feeling of noticing my body doing something it couldn’t do before. I just need to be motivated & committed to doing so. Even if I can’t run, I need to do a work out in the morning. Soon I’ll be starting work at 9am so I won’t have an excuse that I don’t have time in the mornings to get in a 30 minute sweat sesh.

I want to be your motivator. I want to be the one that helps YOU find the healthy, life loving person deep inside of you! I want to be the Queen of Health Knowledge that you all want to come to when you need a kick in the pants.

Time to be that person for myself.

❤ C


4 thoughts on “On the struggle bus

  1. Cheryl says:

    Now you would be the first to give advice to someone else …”don’t beat yourself up, don’t be so hard on yourself.” You got this! You have much going for you right now, you’ll get back on track with the rest! You can do this Ciara!
    Your momma

  2. Rebecca Jo says:

    Its like I could have written this myself. I am in the same boat of not being to get my feet under me to hit the ground running. literally & figuratively. So frustrating.

  3. Jennifer @ Dashing in Style says:

    You’re so right that everything is connected! We all have slumps, and it sounds like you’re already working your way out of it. I’m going on vacation this weekend but when I get back we shout definitely get together & catch up!

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